Hope is fading.

Myrana is missing for more than a week now. I haven't found out what she did to dissapear, or where she is. I called the local vet's and emailed her name to the missing animals foundation. I Searched the flat at least every two days. But I didn't miss her taht much. It was like she was out to sleep over, she was bound to sit and miouw in front of my backdoor anytime now.

But since a day or two I feel different. The note is still there on the board downstairs, but it feels like hope is missing. I notice Suzy, my other cat, being much more 'there' since Myrana's gone. Don't pour food for two cats anymore. Think about what it will be like when Thyrin, my soon to get newborn cat, will get here and how Suus will interact with him. I almost feel like she's dead, like her brother.

It makes me feel I'm a bad 'mum' for my cats. Though I miss her like hell, obviously...